Twisted Tangents~Scalco [3/9/05/09]

Twisted Tangents

or

Perplexing Perceptions

By Scalco [3/9/05/09]

SO you want to know about me growing up....let's see, my youth... hmmm..

Ok, here's one.. I was at a dance with a beautiful girl & everything was going great, except she, had a weird shoe fetish, er something, smelled like thanksgiving dessert & just had to be home by midnight. go figure.. kept complaining about her sisters & calling them 'wicked'..

Wait.. No, it was me and six friends & a beautiful girl, who ate apples all the time. there was a lot of whistling... oh & everything was really big, like we had shrunk...

Ohh ohh even better I will tell you about the time where there was a big tornado that ripped the next-door neighbor's house off its' foundation. We never saw that poor girl, her dog, toto, or her weird red stiletto pumps, ever again.

Ok 1 more but then I gotta go..

When I was growing up I had to wear braces to straighten my posture. I had the biggest crush on my best friend Jenny & did a lot of running from bullies. T

Then I became a shrimp boat captain & named my boat Jenny after her. A toilet paper shortage on the boat, while at sea, ruined all the charts & I ended up lost & finally shipwrecked on an island for like 6 years & had no one to talk to but some dumb volleyball, that washed ashore. His name was 'wilson' (How freaking original -I know). Couldn't have been a GIRL volleyball? NOoooo. -Thanks God! 

And when I was finally rescued, my home town had been taken over by lunatics & hoodlums. I used my family's fortune to build up an empire & arm myself with the tools to fight crime. I began delivering my own brand of justice nightly, & drove a really cool, black, car.

Next time I will tell you about my uncle who was O.C.D. & every time he came in he had this ritual of changing his shoes & his sweater, for no reason & then feeding the fish. 

He was weird but cool cause he had a model train that ran right thru his house..! He was also a bit of a "know it all" and was always trying to teach me stupid stuff. 

Yeah & his neighbor's house looked like an over-flowing trash bin & he was a real grouch! I think he had something weird going on with this big yellow bird that was always hanging around. something wasn't right about that guy fer sure...

Ok, now the back story...

I am completely punchy from sleep deprivation & have been making no sense for some time now.

In case you hadn't noticed....

Allow me to bring it to your attention.

You know it..

I know it..

& now it's out there...

So, where do we go from here?

'Cause you are obviously still reading for a reason...

Why?

No clue, cause....

I don't know what I am talking about, know what I am saying?

Me either.... somebody stop me!